Same Old War
by Road-To-The-Throne
Summary: Newtmas AU Thomas attempts suicide due to abuse; one of bully's finds him. Quick oneshot with happy ending :) Rated T for little swearing, implied self harm and attempted suicide


**Hello my little humans, just a quick thing i wrote instead of my internal. sorry for any mistakes, I'm reposting due to that. Whoops. so I don't own anything except the story, and i hope you enjoy it :)**

Running his hands through his shaggy brown hair, he sucked in one last breath and jumped.

"We've got a pulse!" Air was suddenly shoved down his throat as his heart started thumping in his chest once again. This was not meant to be happening; the bright light was false under his eyelids. Groggily, Thomas opened his eyes. There were machines lining the white-lit room, the smell of sterile equipment was making him feel sick. Shouldn't he be dead right now? How did he manage to even fuck that up? Doctors were fussing over Thomas like they had succeeded when in fact they only made his life worse. Wishing to never open his eyes again, he let darkness blind him once more.

There were scars coating his arms with barely any clear skin on show. This was not what Thomas wanted originally. Years ago, he would have never believed anyone who told him he would attempt to take his own life; yet he heard people telling him to do such. He swears he was a happy and carefree child, but when his mother died, his life turned into a disaster. Becoming detached from reality was what Thomas did; the bullies found him an easy target. Isaac was the worst. His hair was sandy blonde and his eyes were deep and dark brown, not to forget his thick British accent. It was not Thomas' fault he fell for Isaac in high school, the boy was the definition of angel. Of course, that image was shattered once the blonde angel found out about the crush. While Isaac never said anything himself, he stood there smiling into the distance as Thomas took another fist to the face from Gally, never once trying to stop it. It only tortured Thomas even more to know that his crush was enjoying his pain.  
The cutting didn't start until his dad began drinking and threw a few punches at the motherless son. Thomas didn't mind the pain from the blade that glided across his pale skin, in fact it relieved him from his own pain. It reminded him he was alive. The mix of being bullied by Thomas' dad and the Glader's High School students became too much for him. The comments were getting worse, 'Kill yourself you fuck up!' 'Go cry to your mother, oh that's right, she's dead, probably too sick of your existence.' For 3 years Thomas had put up with it, his blade keeping him strong enough to make it through the day. However, last night he was meant to finally end it. He deserved to. The world would be better without his existence.

It wasn't the bright light and forced oxygen that woke him up this time, it was the sound of someone sobbing next to his hospital bed. Through squinting eyes, Thomas saw a familiar mop of blonde hair bouncing softly to each escaping sob.  
"Isaac?" the name escaped Thomas' mouth before he could even stop it. The blonde lifted his head, looking like he'd seen a ghost. His face was pale with dark shadows under his eyes like he hadn't slept in days. His soul deep eyes were strained and bloodshot, tears rolling down his cheeks. It pained Thomas to see his crush like this, even if it was partially the boy's fault. His lips were stained with blood possibly from biting them hard. It took Thomas a second to realise the blooded lips were moving.  
"Tommy? Oh god Tommy! Don't ever do that to me again you slint-head!" Thomas' eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Tommy? Where had that come from? Since when did he care? "I found you Tommy, in a pool of your own blood, down by the old bridge. You looked at peace yet I couldn't leave you there! This is my fault; I'm a bloody idiot! I thought you might have fallen but I…" Isaac's voice was cracking, "I saw your wrists and god Thomas, I nearly killed you!"  
Anger started building up inside Thomas. So this was what it was all about, Isaac wanted a clean slate. No guilt of pushing someone over the edge, except saving him instead. He didn't care, he just didn't want to be responsible for Thomas' death. Rolling his eyes, Thomas politely told him to fuck off.

A few months later, Isaac, who apparently goes by 'Newt' now, did not leave Thomas alone. He would be waiting outside for Thomas to finish his therapy sessions, even offering to help him with school; it was like he didn't care if he lost Gally and the rest of the group.  
It was coming up to graduation and it didn't take long for Thomas to boil over.  
"Okay Isaac-Newt- whatever you call yourself, why the hell do you keep following me around like around like a little lap dog? And you keep trying to be nice to me for once. What is your problem man!?"  
"Maybe because I bloody care about you!" Newt's eyes were beginning to glow with anger.  
This comment made Thomas scoff. "Oh yeah, that's why you've been bullying me for the past three years. Nice try slint-head, I'm not buying it!" Before Newt had the chance to even open his mouth, Thomas was running down the hall leaving the blonde stranded.

Graduation had come and gone, Thomas moved out from under his dad's roof, but fresh scars were still being made on brunette's skin. He was currently sitting under the bridge he jumped off a few months ago, staring at the bloodstains and fiddling with his blade. Thomas felt terrible for treating Newt bad, even if he had deserved it; maybe the British boy truly did care. Newt had been looking rather down since Thomas yelled at him; it was like the life had been sucked out of him. The shadows darkened even more so under the blonde's eyes, yet somehow he still looked attractive to Thomas. The anger Thomas felt towards Newt had been lost, guilt replacing it.  
Thomas' thoughts were broken by the sound of approaching footsteps. Whipping his head around, he could see the silhouette of the blonde boy of his recent thoughts.  
"Newt…" he whispered into the cool breeze, tucking the blade away, "…I'm sorry." It didn't take long for Newt to wrap Thomas up in his arms. Sounds of apologies and tears were all that could be heard under the bridge.  
"Tommy, don't be sorry, I deserved it."

They sat against the wall with Newt holding the broken boy.  
"Newt? Why did you care about me all of a sudden?" Thomas said, finally breaking the silence.  
Newt's lips started to tremble, "I always did." He paused before beginning to explain how he had always found Thomas interesting yet could not pluck up the courage to speak. "After your mother died, you became detached from everything and everyone, I- not trying to sound weird- but I would watch you to make sure you were okay. I wanted to be there for you. I never had the courage to stand up for you though Tommy, I'm sorry I was such a buggin' coward. They would hurt you and I would stand there watching, not doing anything! But every time you boar those bambi eyes into the back of my head, I'll admit, my heart would thud. The point is, I really like you Tommy, you're beautiful and seeing you in a pool of your blood…" Newt began choking on his words and reached out to grab the other boy's hand, "…I realised how I almost lost such an amazing person and it was all because of me."  
Thomas was left speechless with silent tears running down his cheeks, trying to ignore the tingling sensation of Newt's hand in his. "You- you like me?"  
His question was answered when the blonde pulled up Thomas' sleeve and kissed each scar like he could take the pain away. The brunette watched intensely and shivered at each kiss. After a minute had passed, Thomas put a finger under Newt's chin to make their eyes meet, pleading to be kissed. Thomas had never been kissed before but he knew it was not meant to be this perfect. Newt's lips were soft against his, tasting of coffee and tears. It was hesitant, slow and caring.

The boys stayed wrapped in each other's arms until the moon had cast shadows under the bridge. Nether of them spoke. They knew they would make it out alive.


End file.
